lyrics im listening to
the mechanic says i need to journal more. i had to reset my password
some lyrics i have been thinking about, listening to a lot of dave malloy stuff again. as i work through my ocd diagnosis im returning to his work and noticing how there are subtle themes of ocd and radical acceptance in all his work, not just the shows explicitly about ocd.
for starters, ghost quartet. "the driver zones out the victim plays a game the pusher screams out the photographer doesnt help the driver cant stop the victim cant climb the pusher cant stop the photographer doesnt help"
rose is haunted by many ghosts, but the one that carries the show is this, subway pearl, "she had take a photograph instead of being a hero". out of all the times rose intentionally kills pearl, its this one, this accidental bystander death, that she feels the most responsible for. it eats away at her. but pearl didnt choose to haunt rose, she says in many different lives that she doesnt blame rose for her death. this is roses fabricated burden.
"i am not a hero i am not a movie star i am not a genius i am not a monk"
i love prayer, i sing it to myself often when im practicing radical acceptance
"i will forgive myself for being absent in public and bored before stars for not remembering for not being in my body for not stating right now i will try to see myself as i am"
its the "for not starting right now" that really hooks me. not only are we forgiving ourselves for our past, we are forgiving ourselves for being hesitant to change, for being hesitant to start that healing. i will forgive myself for the ways i hurt myself, and i will forgive myself for how difficult it is to admit that.
great comet. not as much of a comet fan, but got to finally see it live recently. mary "he is old and feeble and i dare to judge him, i disgust myself. i disgust myself"
three houses. of course. the ocd musical. "a house made of stone where i cant hurt anyone, a house made of stone where no one can hurt me". knock knock knock.
don't stop me. "my life will be better than this my life will be worse than this but right now is just right now and in a second
. .
it will be gone"